Lately I've been thinking about how to deal with pressure from people who want my time, energy, or expertise. I've recently had to set boundaries with individuals and charities who have asked me to donate my time free of charge. Although I do some charity knitting, tithe, blog, and donate my knowledge to a few forums, I realized that it is just getting to be too much for me. The bottom line is, I need to make money. I can't just give everything away on a daily basis.
My parents always taught me to work and earn money. From a very young age, I was babysitting, folding laundry, washing cars, and assisting adults. Because of this, I always had the cash I needed for dance lessons, hobbies, or going out to eat. I loved that I always had plenty of money to buy my own make-up, pointe shoes, candy, lunch, or stationery. I didn't have to ask my parents for money. If I wanted to go to the movies, or roller skating, I always had the funds. Sometimes my parents even borrowed from me, if they were short on cash. I also had a paper route. There was a lot of money flowing into my hands, because I was always working.
I think because I was brought up this way I am very surprised at how many people now expect me to work for free. It's been a real lesson to quote to these people the going rate, and to explain that I charge for my time. I've always trained with the top teachers, and because of that, have become a proficient and confident teacher, myself. The dance, yoga, and knitting education I received has been worth every penny.
My father gave me good advice as far as responding to requests. He told me to ask, "What do I need to do, and what are the financial arrangements?" I love his choice of words. If the answer is, "We need you to do x, y, and z, and we don't pay," I don't do it.
Suze Orman teaches women: "When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are" She also reverses it: "When you undervalue who you are, the world will undervalue what you do." This really struck home with me. What's interesting to me is that as a child, no one EVER expected me to work for them for free. They were always generous and enthusiastic about paying me. I don't think any of those people were in debt, either. They probably owed money on their homes, but I doubt any of them had car payments, or credit card debt. It was a different time, and adults managed their money very well. They also made about 18% interest on their savings. It's so important to be compensated for our effort, time, talent, and knowledge.
I love it when Suze Orman tells women, "You are not on sale.Remember that? Sale! 50% off!" That always makes me laugh. It's very true. Time and time again, I see women barely breaking even, because they are charging half of what they should be. It's up to us to set our prices, and to stick to them.
I recently received an Etsy order for a cashmere scarf and beanie. This customer is paying over $500.00 for high end set of beautiful hand knits. She values the quality, and understands that this is a fair price. I spelled it all out for her. I detailed the cost of the yarn, California tax, over a week of knitting labor at several hours a day, and the shipping materials. Those customers are out there. It's so important to find the right people.
I received an email today with a photo of the woman who received the knitted knockers that I made for breast cancer survivors. I wanted to show you her picture, but my downloads are disappearing. I'm not sure why. I guess I will have to pay a computer repairman the going rate to show me. Ha ha. They are not cheap, and that's my point. It was exciting to see the person who received them. I made three different sizes. She looks like she chose the C cup. For some reason, I didn't think anyone would want the ones I had made. I had read after finishing them that most women like the neutral shades. This was all they had left in the discount bin at the yarn shop. Still, she picked mine. I thought they would go well with jeans. That made me so happy. It feels good to give when you can. You should never feel pressured or forced to give more than you can afford. It's a delicate balance.
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