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James Bond Can Suck It!

Clive Owen, who at one time was the heir apparent of the James Bond franchise, stars in Shoot 'Em Up, which is not so much a movie as it is a series of preposterous action sequences hanging on a thread of a plot—something about baby harvesting, bone marrow transplants, gun control, and a presidential campaign. But who gives a shit about the plot, really, when you have a film so intentionally over-the-top, so ridiculously absurd, and so damn giddy? Shoot 'Em Up, the brainchild of filmmaker Michael Davis, pushes the action genre to implausible extremes, but also carries the spirit of outrageous comedy. Pick a scene, any scene:

Clive Owen participates in an overwhelming opening gunfight while delivering a baby and shoots off the umbilical cord with his gun. Later, there's a gunfight while he's having sex with a hooker. (No, seriously, folks, he's shooting people to death while having intercourse.) Even later, he takes the gunfighting to the skies, shooting 'em up midair after diving out of a plane. He's also prone to chomping on carrot sticks before using them to stab people in the eye. And there's more. So much more.

I even find this two-minute red-band trailer exhausting. But that's the point. When you're basically telling James Bond to suck it, you want to make sure you're driving the point home:

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